Feeling Lonely Because You’re Single During the Holidays?

A few years ago, I texted my ex on Christmas Eve.

Let’s just say the conversation did not go as I had hoped

I was feeling pretty lonely and wanted to feel better…

So I said to myself “what harm would there be to reach out?”

After hearing that he was dating someone else and wasn’t giving me much response via text…

I felt even lonelier.

I started questioning my decision to even break up with him at all.

My brain was clouded and I made an impulse decision to send the text, even though I knew I couldn’t handle if my expectation of him wanting to talk to me wasn’t met.

Around the holidays, it can be a very raw time and I want to remind you to be kind to yourself and focus on what did happen this year, instead of what hasn’t happened yet.

One of my mottos for this time of year is ‘prepare, prepare, prepare’:

• Prepare for what you’re going to say if someone asks why you’re still single.

• Prepare what you’re going to do when you start comparing yourself to other people on social media (or on the couch next to you).

• Prepare for how you’re going to prioritize everything you did create this year and celebrate yourself for it.

• Prepare for if someone from your past texts you, what you will respond with (or if you will respond at all).

• Prepare for if you have the urge to text someone or swipe frantically, how you’re going to interrupt that thought and shift it.

When we allow ourselves to prepare for what could come up, we take back control of how we want to respond — instead of reacting and going down an emotional spiral.

Allowing yourself to manage your own energy so you’re not rocked when other people say something or do something (which is always outside of our control), is extremely important heading into the next few weeks.